I’m in my study. The work room. A writing studio? My writing room? The spare room. The guest room. The present wrapping room. The storage room. The room of bags and boxes and antiques. The junk room. The room of sharp angles. The room of corners.

Corners and paths to cross

What’s missing is my work space. I take up so little space in this house. Physically. As a result, I take up SO MUCH space emotionally. Always resentful, always on that thin ice of the emotional pond.

The emotional pond

Why don’t I have an intentional and dedicated work space? Where is my writing room? Why do I always share my space? Is is there no other space big enough for me, but also, having to accommodate so many other states of mind, activities, and others. Aug. Where is my corner in the room? In the world? There are so many sharp corners, at every turn.

The Icy Surface

And underneath the icy pond there is a current flowing into a stream which flows into a tidal river which empties out into the Minas Basin which flows into the mighty Bay of Fundy which of course, surges, swells and barrels homeward to the Atlantic Ocean. 

Barreling homeward to the Atlantic

Writing desk

I am making space. I am taking up space. Yes, I am taking myself by the hand. What is here now is my writing corner. My desk.

Closed

Drop down the front and it’s a functional desk. I’m trying this corner out. I’m seeing how it goes. I’m doing something new everyday. This is a peak at my writer’s room.

Opened

I’m adding a bit more every day. The room is tidied now. The bed is made. The wall mural is up. The children helped me do it. What work that was! But it is exquisite. And this early 1900s writing desk, a small secretary, as I believe it would have been called, where I write this note to you.

Details

The desk is old. It is upcycled. Old and new, like me. An old mermaid who has transformed. 

Middle-aged Mermaid at her desk with Recluse the cat, and Relic of a mermaid who is always waiting patiently for me.

I take for granted the capacity to re-imagine, to change one small thing and then a cascade of change begins. It’s a magic key, the first twist, the first swap or move. 

This amazing blog course with Kerry Clare, with quick deep DOABLE introspection on the everyday and at hand, along with my efforts to do Yoga With Adriene, her 30 day free yoga program, HOME, are transforming me. I’m a few days late with the blog deadlines, but dog paddling onward. I’m 16 days behind all those who did the HOME yoga (it was for the month of January, ha ha). But I’m on the way.

Be the mermaid…young, middle aged, the relic of a mermaid.

Just be the fucking mermaid, pals.